Tag: hacking

Innovative New Dildo Spies on Users

Bring your degeneracy to the whole world! The number one problem stopping innovation in the realm of dildotech has been that the dildos didn’t spy on their users. Now that barrier has been overcome. Can you imagine the brave new world of possibilities opening up…

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Why Isn’t Merkel 50 Points Ahead?

The German government is fearing Russian interference with their election. Why would Russia do this, you ask? The answer is a long lasting resentment towards the Germans for WWII, of course. Anonymous Daily Stormer sources inside the German government claim that these are the L33T…

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Hackerman Hacks Handguns

A hackerman has further shown that our obsession with cramming as much pointless tech into everything as possible doesn’t work and can be fatal. The Armatix iP1 pistol and its accompanying RFID watch are marketed as a “secure firearm system.” Why would you even think…

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Putin Personally Cyberhacked UK Parliament

Maybe you’d still have your base if you weren’t a bunch of incompetent boomers. Does every government official and political organization in the west protect their accounts with passwords like “guest” or “password” ? What exactly are the billions of dollars in tax money used…

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“The Shadow Brokers” Release NSA Hacking Tools as Protest Over Syria

Shadow Brokers releases password to NSA hacking tool binaries from 2013 as "protest" over "abandoning base" https://t.co/zFrz1vumcL pic.twitter.com/7ruMT0JPTH — WikiLeaks (@wikileaks) April 8, 2017 Sounds pretty serious. Who are “The Shadow Brokers?” According to Wikipedia : Their message claims that most of them are former…

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The Elections WERE Hacked by a Foreign Enemy: Israel!

This business about our “elections having been hacked by Russia” is such nonsense. Even if it turns out that Russians were involved in revealing to the American public facts like “Hillary knew she was supporting ISIS in Syria,” how does that constitute a hack? We…

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