Mateo Zavala. Remember, girls: the only thing more dangerous than dating a baboon is breaking up with a baboon. One way or another, he’s gonna come fo’ ya. For this reason, it’s best not to get involved with baboons at all. KOLD : A California…
Dana Jones. Offing a decrepit coalburner AND a child-killing devil dog? Sometimes… these blacks… They can be alright. Fox4KC : A Greenwood man has been charged in connection with the deadly shooting of his girlfriend earlier this week. Deputies found 54-year-old Kimberly Renee Alcorn dead…
Michael Lee Wade. Mudsharks are treading on dangerous ground at the best of times. But when a bitch is a serial mudshark who has dated more than one ape, her fate becomes all the more inevitable. WAFB : Three people are dead and one man…
Shane Walker. Wew, this chimp totally cleaned house. The head-butting a policeman part though – that’s the cherry on top right there. New York Post : The Staten Island military man accused of killing his Air National Guard girlfriend and their two young sons was…
Jimmie Jones. Bah, she was supposed to pay the toll. Release the ape from jail and let him finish the job ffs. WREG : A Memphis woman is back home safe and a man is behind bars after police say she was taken at gunpoint…
Lavar Strickland. Maybe he’s telling the truth? He does have an honest face, and there’s no evidence that blacks do this sort of thing all the time. Arkansas Online : A man who said he accidentally shot a woman to death with a sawed-off shotgun…
Lequinton Melton and Taylor Liles. The thing about these mudsharks is that no one respects them. Respect for mudsharks is so non-existent, in fact, that authorities literally have to advise people not to celebrate their hilarious deaths on social media. WCCB Charlotte : The Stanly…
Carnell Sledge and Katherine Brown. That’s the problem with being black in a wildlife reservation – trophy hunters often mistake you for a wild gorilla. The mudshark’s murder, though, was probably deliberate. Cleveland19 : The Cleveland Metroparks Police Department provided an update this morning on…
Yakema Buckley. A mudshark who died before she could spawn her first chimplet, and an unstable orangutan that’ll be going away for a long, long time. What’s not to love? Cincinnati : Yakema J. Buckley has been charged with murder in the fatal wreck that…
Tiko Leal. Now that’s what I call a good outcome. No honest person has ever lamented the death of a 300 lb mudshark. The suicide was just a bonus, really. 10News : Authorities have identified the victim and suspect after a man and a woman…
Derrick Allen McIlwain and Kimberly Alger. Good going, police. Hunt down the one negro who did something that actually benefits society. WBTV : Deputies in Lancaster County are asking for the public’s help finding a man wanted on a previous domestic assault charge on a…
Jalique Keene and Mikaela Conley. Eugh, that nose ring… the sure sign of a spoiled THOT who loves the liberal arts, traveling the world to “find herself” and, most of all, bedding down with murderous apes. WABI : The Bar Harbor man accused of raping…
Christopher Garris and Laura Whitehurst. I’m impressed! Not only did Christopher remove an obese THOT – widely considered to be the most worthless and parasitic creature on Earth – from the white gene pool, but he also included a surprise bonus at the end. For…
Jamal Rhodes. She paid the toll, but not before blessing the world with three little chimplets. I’m sure there’ll be no shortage of boomercucks hoping to look after them now that Jamal will be going away for a long time. KMOV : An O’Fallon, Mo.…
Joshua Lewis Duane Dow. Her body parts were never found. Perhaps he sold them to a family of hungry Somalis… StarTribune : A Minneapolis man has been charged with murder four years after his then-girlfriend vanished and was never found. Joshua Lewis Duane Dow had…
Martice Fuller and Kaylie Jugas. As Kaylie Jugas walked down the school corridor with her dashing baboon lover beside her, she knew that she’d finally done it: she had succeeded in proving to the world that she wasn’t racist. She basked in the nods of…
Mario Turner. “We want people to know this is preventable.” Oh, this is preventable all right – by not bedding down with beasts of the field. Unfortunately, that’s asking a bit too much from the common THOT. KWBW : A 51-year-old man has been arrested…
Lamontez Sykes. Well. Here’s another unpredictable twist that no one saw coming. Tennessean : Metro Police charged a Nashville man Monday in connection to a homicide investigation that was not what it at first seemed. Lamontez Sykes, 22, has been charged with criminal homicide in…
Anthony McClanahan. I guess he won’t be going pro after all. That’s a shame. With a murder conviction under his belt, he’d have made a fine addition to the Negro Felon League. Bakersfield : Former Bakersfield High School football star and NFL prospect Anthony McClanahan…
Phillip Williams. Yes, she was dating him , as was the other white woman involved in this crime. Shield maidens just can’t seem to get enough of these exotic talking silverbacks. KCRG : An Indiana man accused of killing a woman and burning her body…
